I want to share my story of how I finally gave myself the permission to prioritize my own wellbeing.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a sunny fall afternoon in mid-October 2012, and my husband and I were sitting in the office of my new neurologist. I was waiting to hear her thoughts of why my limbs were numb, my spine was tingling, my vision was worse, and why I was so exhausted that I could barely make it out of bed even after 10 hours of sleep. Then she just laid it out there in a way that was simultaneously clinical and compassionate: “You have multiple sclerosis.”

I felt the walls begin to spin and tunnel vision set in…you know that feeling right before you pass out. As they laid me on the table, I felt like I was watching this scene unfold as if I were floating above my body looking down. I remember being surprised that this was my reaction because, in the back of my mind, I was completely expecting this diagnosis. I was a textbook case. I thought I was prepared. But, hearing those words knocked the wind out of me. The rest of that appointment was sort of a blur. We discussed treatment options. I was told I needed to reduce my stress and be patient during what would be a long recovery.

Then, because I’m a mom and that doesn’t stop even after an MS diagnosis, I got in the car and drove to pick up my then 15-month old daughter from daycare. Perhaps the saddest part of that drive was me thinking “this gives me the excuse to take care of myself.”

It took me years after my MS diagnosis to finally realize and accept how much stress I was under. I spent my 20s and early 30s in grad school and working in DC, raising two little girls, and running myself ragged. From the outside it probably appeared like I had it all together. But under the surface, my nervous system was going haywire, I suffered from depression, anxiety and extreme fatigue. My brain was foggy, and my body hurt. I was always on the verge of snapping at my kids or my husband.

In attempt to unwind my cycle of chronic illness and stress, I tried a bunch of things (acupuncture, yoga, gluten and dairy-free anti-inflammatory diets, pharmaceuticals, meditation, exercise, etc.). Turns out, those can all be helpful tools. But it wasn’t until I did the hard work of changing my relationship with stress that my life truly changed. I feel grounded. My mind is clear and focused. I’m energized. And strong.

My MS diagnosis turned out to be the wake-up call I desperately needed, and for that I am grateful.

We all have our shit. I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one. What will it take to make it sink in that you DESERVE to prioritize your own health, wellbeing, and happiness? That you NEED to prioritize yourself.

So, that’s my story. I believe in this work so much that I left my career in global health and become a health coach and yoga teacher. I feel compelled to share it with other women who need it. I see you.

Drop me a message if you’re ready to make yourself a priority.

Permission granted.